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Fox News GOP GOP Whining WTF?!

Devin Nunes: In A ‘Normal World’ There Would Be ‘Hundreds And Hundreds’ Of People Looking At Hunter Biden’s Laptop

Even though he’s no longer in Congress, former California Republican congressman Devin Nunes is still slinging conspiracy theories for the braindead morons who watch and believe Fox News as right-wing gospel.

Nunes, who is now CEO of the Trump Media and Tech Group (whatever the hell that is), was a guest on Maria Bartiromo’s “Sunday Morning Futures” show, and went on an extended (and fact-free) rant about Hunter Biden, the son of President Joe Biden, telling the host that Russia’s possible invasion of Ukraine is linked to the Biden family:

“Where are we today? Remember, the invasion of Ukraine started in 2014 under Obama and Biden. It was the Obama-Biden administration that wanted to give them blankets and then it was this Hunter Biden laptop where the information existed when they were impeaching a president over this, clearly, the information was out there that it was really the Bidens who had issues, not just with Ukraine, taking money from Ukraine, but also Russia, also China.”

Nunes added that Russian President Vladimir Putin thinks the United States is weak with Biden as president, even though we were never weaker in regard to Russian than when failed, one-term former President Donald Trump was Putin’s personal lap dog and puppet:

“And I believe what they’re going to do is, you know, probably, you know, force the hands of the Ukrainian people and basically put a choice in their hands of do they really want to fight and have bloodshed or is Putin going be able to install someone that he can control?”

That led Bartiromo to wonder out loud if Biden has “conflicts of interest” that are tying his hands on the matter of Ukraine. To that, Nunes replied:

“This is major evidence that sat on that laptop. The FBI had it for over a year and nothing was done with it. So in a normal world, unlike the one that we live in now with this dystopian media that we have and social media, you would have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of media folks, reporters, investigative reporters doing work on this.

“Sadly, you’ve only had a few. The American people deserve the right to know, what is it that the Russians, the Chinese or the Ukrainians have on politicians in this country. That information is known to the FBI, but yet, the American people still don’t have a clue.”

What does Russia have on Trump and Nunes? Can we get to the bottom of that, too, Devin? You voted against impeaching Donald for his blatant attempt to extort the Ukrainians to dig up nonexistent dirt on the Bidens, but now you want a full investigation?

Sit your sorry ass down and shut the hell up, traitor. Let’s take a look at your finances and see who owns you.

Here’s the video from Fox News:

Categories
Fox News Social Media

Tucker Carlson Complains About ‘Androgynous’ M&Ms And Gets Masterfully Trolled By Eric Swalwell

It’s been a busy week in the news, filled with developments in the January 6 investigation and the ongoing debate over voting rights legislation which is being held hostage by Senate Republicans (assisted by two Democrats, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema), so you may have missed the childish hissy fit pitched by Fox News host Tucker Carlson over M&M candy being made “androgynous.”

You simply can’t make this shit up. It’s 2022 and truth always winds up being stranger (and dumber) than fiction.

Newsweek notes that Carlson went on an extended rant during his show Friday evening on the subject of genderless M&Ms:

Mars announced on Thursday that the company would make changes to M&Ms as part of its “global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong, and society is inclusive.”

Carlson said: “Bet you didn’t think M&Ms were pushing intolerance, but they were, they’ve been changed.”

“You’re seeing those changes on the screen,” he said as images of the rebranded M&Ms were displayed.

OK, Tucker. Just let it go. No need to make a big production number out of candy. But he proceeded to do exactly that, remarking:

“The green M&M, you will notice, is no longer wearing sexy boots. Now she’s wearing sensible sneakers. Why the change? Well according to M&Ms, ‘We all win when we see more women in leading roles.’

“Because leading women do not wear sexy boots, leading women wear frumpy shoes. The frumpier the better. That’s the rule.”

Please, gods of TV, make it stop. Make it stop!!

It did not stop, as Tucker prattled on:

“The other big change is that the brown M&M has ‘transitioned from high stilettos to lower block heels,’ also less sexy. That’s progress. M&Ms will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous.

“Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you are totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. They’ve won.”

Wait a minute. Time out! Tucker Carlson was turned on by candy? Guess that shouldn’t surprise us since he’s the heir to the Swanson frozen dinner fortune, but did he need to share his perversion with the world? Of course he did; Fox demands such depravity for their sexually repressed viewers.

However, one good thing did come out of Carlson’s lunacy: The response from Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), who fired back at the Fox host with this magnificent piece of online trolling:

Boom! Mic drop. Game, set, and match Eric Swalwell. Thank you for making this whole thing laughable, congressman.

Categories
Capitol Insurrection Fox News Fox News Lies WTF?!

Tucker Carlson: ‘Conservatives Have Remained Calm And Nonviolent, Thank God’

Have you ever heard something so absurd and ridiculous that you started laughing uncontrollably? If so, then you might want to prepare yourself for something Fox News host Tucker Carlson said regarding American conservatives.

As support for his assertion that the U.S. government is making the country “unstable,” HuffPost notes, Carlson referenced the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing:

He tied Timothy McVeigh’s 1995 bombing of an Oklahoma City federal building that killed 168 people to those events and presented the prospect of another attack. Though Carlson condemned potential violence, he suggested that the “full Soviet” direction of the current government could lead to it.

Here’s what Carlson said, word for word, courtesy of Media Matters:

“One borderline personality type responded to all of this by buying fertilizer and fuel oil, and in the spring of 1995, blew up 168 people at the federal building in Oklahoma City. It was awful. Imagine if something like that happened now. We would never recover. Violence against innocents is always wrong, it’s always tragic no matter who commits it. It’s not a political question. It’s a moral question. It’s an absolute. But, in a political environment like this one, where the people in charge are already salivating at the thought of going full Soviet, the U.S. as we know it would be over, right away, our core freedoms would disappear overnight, we would be enslaved. That would be a disaster on top of a disaster.”

Then he added this absurd statement:

“So far, there is no suggestion that that will happen in this country. In the face of vicious provocation, cruelty, and persecution, conservatives have remained nonviolent and thank God for that. Let’s sincerely hope they stay that way.”

Conservatives have remained nonviolent? Is that supposed to be a damn joke?! There was no ironic smile when Carlson made his ludicrous statement, so he meant this as fact even though the truth couldn’t possibly be more different.

January 6 wasn’t violent? It was a massive riot and insurrection that killed five people and left the halls of Congress befouled with the feces and urine of the insurrectionists. If that’s not violence, then what exactly is the new definition of the word? Get the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary on the phone and let’s change the meaning right now!

Propagandists use words to brainwash people. And that’s exactly what’s going on at Fox and other right-wing media outlets: They’re trying to turn their own culpability into a form of civil disobedience that minimizes the horror of what took place a year ago at the Capitol.

Conservatives have remained nonviolent? Yeah, and 2 + 2 now equals 13. Spread that lie far and wide until it becomes reality, Tucker.

 

Categories
Donald Trump Fox News

Trump’s Cognitive Decline Is On Full Display In Rambling Thursday Evening Phone Interview With Sean Hannity

In the 14 months American voters overwhelmingly rejected him and his policies, failed former President Donald Trump has desperately tried to remain semi-relevant, but his efforts have only served to remind the country what a complete douchebag he is and why we came out in record numbers to send him packing.

During a phone interview with Fox News host Sean Hannity on Thursday evening, Trump rambled and jumped from one subject to another, proving that his cognitive abilities have deteriorated badly since he left office.

The ex-president had a major senior moment when Hannity asked him about President Joe Biden:

“So, you keep banging your head against the wall — why would you expect a different result?”

The twice-impeached Trump responded:

“So, we would have had the wall completed in three weeks. It was largely completed. We did almost 500 miles of wall.”

What?! He went from a metaphorical wall to the one he was never able to complete while he was in office.

If that’s not bad enough, Trump also reignited his long-running feud with windmills:

“You look at what’s happening to these beautiful prairies and plains and these gorgeous areas of our country where they have these rusting hulks put up all over the place that are noisy, they’re killing the birds.”

Donald and his rabid pack of acolytes love to suggest that President Joe Biden isn’t mentally sharp, but if anyone is one the downward slope when it comes to brain function, it’s clearly Trump. After all, he was never very bright to begin with and has now descended into a degenerative mental state that suggests he may have inherited Alzheimer’s Disease from his late father.

Categories
Fox News WTF?!

Lara Trump Says She’s Afraid Microsoft Is Spying On Her When She Uses Her Computer

Lara Trump, whose only claim to fame is that she’s married to Eric Trump, proved just how utterly clueless she is during an appearance on Fox News when she suggested that Microsoft is spying on her when she uses their word processing program.

Last week, a report noted that Microsoft Word had a new function for users:

Microsoft has included a new function in the latest version of its Word software that acts as a checker for inclusivity and offers PC alternatives to phrases which could upset others.

Traditionally, Microsoft Word has offered tools to its 250 million users such as checking software for spelling, punctuation and grammar.

But now, the tech giant has added an additional feature which reads through a user’s work and examines whether the language used may offend an individual.

That led Lara to remark:

“Someone is reading this?! And assessing what I’m writing?”

Yeah, as if anyone cares what Lara Trump is writing. And that also assumes she can type or even manage to turn on her computer without someone else’s assistance.

Or, even worse, what if she chipped a nail while she was typing?! Tragedy! Call an attorney; I’ll sue!

Next thing you know, Lara will be telling us that Alexa can read her thoughts and control her dreams.