Crime Domestic Terrorism

Jailed Capitol Insurrectionist Whines He Has ‘No Privacy When Sh*tting’

Listen my children and you shall hear of the endless whining, moaning, and kvetching of the dillholes who participated in the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol but now want us to feel sorry for them and extend our sympathy in their direction just because they assure us they’re ever so sorry and will never do it again.

And to that, let the congregation say: BULLSHIT! YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED!

Today we pay a visit to Joe Biggs, a member of the Proud Boys domestic terror group that goes around attacking anyone they disagree with in the name of white supremacy and/or law and order.

Biggs is currently incarcerated and awaiting trial for his role in what transpired earlier this year when thousands of pro-Trump asshats stormed the Capitol and caused the deaths of five people, including a police officer, even though these right-wing douches love to profess their support for law enforcement.

But things are not going well for Biggs in lockup, and he whined to a friend of his in a letter that they’re feeding him “soy-based” meals that are already “weakening his body.”

Boo freaking hoo! Someone get this snowflake a tissue already!

Oh, and Biggs is also deeply distressed that he hasn’t been able to exercise:

“Today is my 3 month anniversary being locked up. Not allowed to work out. My body feels as if it’s aged too much. Can hardly move.”

That’s too bad, Joe, but you know the old saying: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

Bur perhaps most terrifying of all for Biggs is that he (gasp!) has no privacy when he uses the bathroom. Horror of horrors! Just listen to him explain his situation:

“No privacy allowed when shitting allowed.”

Be sure and notice that Biggs refers to himself as a “political prisoner.” He’s a terrorist and a thug, and now he’s being treated like one and he doesn’t care for it. Oh well, that’s too damn bad.

In the months ahead, we’re going to be hearing lots of sob stories from these losers, and the only thing they deserve in response is a shrug of the shoulders and middle finger salute. After all, they’re the same people who demanded every child be ripped from his or her parents for attempting to come to the United States in search of a better life and chanted “lock her up!” endlessly anytime their lord and savior Donald Trump made a speech.

If any of these miscreants want sympathy, they can buy a greeting card in the prison commissary.


By Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

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