Crime Domestic Terrorism WTF?!

Capitol Rioter Compares Himself To Jesus And Tells Federal Judge He Was Entrapped

Brandon Fellows is one of the pro-Trump insurrectionists who showed up at the Capitol and took part in desecrating the seat of American government, at one point snapping a photo of himself sitting on a police motorcycle while wearing a fake orange beard.

Fellows later shared that photo on Instagram, and that’s where his legal problems began.

As if that’s not incriminating enough, Fellows also allegedly showed up on CNN wearing the same absurd costume, remarking:

“Yeah, we went in there and then I walked in and there’s just a whole bunch of people lighting up some Oregon room…they were smoking a bunch of weed in there.”

Despite all of this evidence, Fellows is now asking a federal judge to release him from custody and allow him to go home. His reasoning: He’s a lot like Jesus Christ and he wraps his phone in tinfoil.

Clearly, what Fellows needs most is some good psychotropic meds and maybe a few dozen ECT sessions.

Josh Gerstein, the Senior Legal Affairs correspondent for Politico, reported on what transpired in court as Fellows regaled the judge with his bizarre rambling:

Fellows is just the latest of the Capitol insurrectionists to whine about being locked up for his disgusting actions.

Joe Biggs, a member of the Proud Boys domestic terror group, wrote a friend and complained he couldn’t take a leak in private:

“Today is my 3 month anniversary being locked up. Not allowed to work out. My body feels as if it’s aged too much. Can hardly move.

“No privacy allowed when shitting allowed.”

Robert Reeder, on the other hand, said he couldn’t find work as a result of his disgusting actions on Jan. 6:

“I’ve lost my job. I’m radioactive. No one wants to hire me. They just have to Google my name.”

Oh well. These miscreants should have stayed home and watched it all on TV. Instead, they have to pay for their actions. And that infuriates them.


By Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

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