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Elections GOP GOP Whining WTF?!

Arizona Republicans Are Looking For ‘Bamboo Fibers’ On Ballots To Prove China Stole The 2020 Election

In their desperate and futile attempt to prove that accused rapist and one-term loser former President Donald Trump actually won the state of Arizona (and the entire 2020 election), Republicans in the Grand Canyon State are now asserting that China stole the vote from Trump and handed it to Joe Biden.

Not crazy enough for you? Well, consider this from Slate:

“On Wednesday, a member of the Arizona election audit team that has been heavily touted by former President Donald Trump revealed that its examination of the 2020 vote in Maricopa County will include a ‘forensic’ analysis of ballots to determine if the paper is made of bamboo—in order to determine whether or not China delivered tens of thousands of fraudulent ballots to tip the state to Joe Biden.”

Yep, truth truly is stranger than fiction. You simply cannot make this shit up!

John Brakey, one of the officials who is “overseeing” the Arizona audit, was the clown who floated the “Asia” theory of what took place last November, remarking:

“There’s accusations that 40,000 ballots were flown in and stuffed into the box and it came from the Southeast part of the world, Asia. And what they’re doing is to find out if there’s bamboo in the paper.”

Bamboo in the paper. He actually said that. Here’s the video for any doubters:

When Brakey was asked the logical follow-up question, Why are you looking for bamboo, he responded:

“People in Southeast Asia…use bamboo in their paper processing. This is part of the mystery that we want to un-gaslight people about.”

Clearly, John Brakey has been sniffing far too much of the gas in the “gaslight” he’s referring to, and it has permanently damaged what little bit of brain matter he had left in his otherwise empty skull.

So this is where we’re at when it comes to the Trump faithful and millions of Republican voters across the United States: If the GOP loses, it must have been because the Democrats cheated. Of course, all evidence suggests that the vast majority of those who commit what little voter fraud there is in the country are card-carrying Republicans. But their cheating doesn’t count because it’s done on behalf of the best interests of the poor, ignorant voters who have no idea which way to mark their ballot.

Truth is now dead among at least half of this country. They killed it and now they want to replace with a conspiracy theory they found in the darkest bowels of the internet.

Maybe we should give these morons their very own “nation” on an abandoned oil derrick out in the Pacific Ocean and let them live in their version of reality instead of running the risk they’ll infect anyone else.

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Donald Trump Elections WTF?!

Trump Is Moving From Florida To New Jersey – The Reason Is Bad News For All Of Us

Failed, one-term former President Donald Trump is on the move, preparing to head from Florida to New Jersey, and though the reason stated for his relocation is blamed on the hot South Florida weather as summer approaches, it seems Trump has ulterior motives.

Business Insider reports that Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach normally closes after Memorial Day due to the intolerable heat and humidity, so Trump and his so-called “team” of advisers will be relocating to the Garden State:

“They’re moving the whole operation to New Jersey because they’re going to start doing more fundraising.”

The new location for loser Trump will likely be his Bedminster golf resort:

“Now it looks like the new base for Trump loyalists could be temporarily moved 1,200 miles away to his plush, east coast club.

“The club opened in 2004 and is about an hour from Trump Tower in Manhattan, with the most expensive membership reportedly costing $300,000 annually.”

Bedminster was supposed to be the location of next year’s PGA championship, but that golf tournament was canceled shortly after the January 6 Capitol insurrection which many blame Trump for helping to incite with his rhetoric just hours before the rioting began.

Also, if Trump is planning to do more fundraising that suggests that he is still attempting to gain control of the Republican Party so he can leverage that position to seek the 2024 GOP presidential nomination.

But while Trump and his advisers may be eager to get him back into the political world, he’s also facing criminal charges and numerous lawsuits, any of which could wind up sending him prison for decades.

Also, it should be noted that the current governor of New Jersey is a Democrat, Phil Murphy, who will not hesitate to sign extradition orders if the former president is indicted in New York, Washington, D.C., or any other U.S. venue.

Trump may be heading north to escape the heat, but he could wind up going from the frying pan right into the fire.

 

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Donald Trump Elections The Trump Adminstration

Ivanka Trump Accidentally Admits That Her Father Has Ruined Her Life

With the Texas ice storm dominating the headlines, you may have missed another announcement that came down the pike on Thursday: Ivanka Trump has decided that she won’t run against Sen. Marco Rubio in 2022, the Associated Press reports:

“The former president’s eldest daughter and ex-senior White House adviser spoke with Rubio several weeks ago and told him she would not be running for his seat, according to a Rubio campaign spokesperson. The two have also discussed appearing at a joint event.

“The conversation, first reported by The New York Times, comes a day after Donald Trump re-emerged after nearly a moth of self-imposed silence, conducting a series of interviews to commemorate the death of conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh. Trump would not comment on his political future in the interviews, saying it was too soon to talk about whether he will run again in 2024.”

But what Ivanka really revealed is that she knows she has no political future whatsoever.

How so? Well, if the former president’s daughter really wanted to follow in his footsteps, she’d jump right in while a large portion of the GOP is still obsessed with all things Trump.

She didn’t, however, and that speaks volumes about Ivanka’s awareness that her father has destroyed whatever chances she had of holding any elected office, as Bess Levin notes in Vanity Fair:

“As you might have heard, Ivanka’s dad incited a fascist coup in an attempt to overthrow the U.S. government, undertaken by people the former first daughter addressed as ‘American patriots,’ before trying to furiously backtrack. And apparently having uncharacteristically read the room, Ivanka has decided that now is not the right time to take the first step in a series of steps that she believes will lead to her becoming the U.S.’s first woman president.”

Ivanka isn’t the only Trump who plans to sit out 2022. Bloomberg reports Don Jr. will also steer clear of seeking any elected office in the next election cycle:

“Trump’s oldest son, Donald Trump Jr., also doesn’t plan to run for any office in the next election cycle, though he’s aware of suggestions that he pursue a Senate seat from Pennsylvania or Montana or move to Wyoming to challenge Republican Representative Liz Cheney, people familiar with his plans said. Cheney, daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney, voted to impeach the former president and was censured by her state Republican Party amid demands for her resignation.”

The Trump siblings are learning something that Rick Wilson put his finger on a few years back: Everything Donald Trump touches dies. And that now includes the so-called political futures of his family members.