Author: Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

Categories
Social Media WTF?!

Eric Trump Thought He’d Attack Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff – BIG Mistake

In a desperate attempt to pretend he’s still relevant, Eric Trump sent out a tweet that raised questions about his mental stability and left most people scratching their heads.

HuffPost notes that Eric wanted to announce that he’d just unsubscribed from the email list of Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff, the husband of Vice President Kamala Harris:

“Ex-President Donald Trump’s son shared what appeared to be a screenshot showing a successful unsubscribe. Checked was a box explaining it was because ‘the emails are inappropriate.’

“’Second Gentleman’ — the formal moniker for Emhoff — was underlined.

“Trump captioned his post with the #unsubscribe hashtag.”

How pathetic was the tweet? So much so that Eric later deleted it, but not before everyone had seen it. That set off a wave of mockery aimed in Eric’s direction:

https://twitter.com/alanfike/status/1390435290666475521?s=20

There’s an old saying that certainly applies to every member of the Trump family: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Categories
Elections GOP GOP Whining WTF?!

Arizona Republicans Are Looking For ‘Bamboo Fibers’ On Ballots To Prove China Stole The 2020 Election

In their desperate and futile attempt to prove that accused rapist and one-term loser former President Donald Trump actually won the state of Arizona (and the entire 2020 election), Republicans in the Grand Canyon State are now asserting that China stole the vote from Trump and handed it to Joe Biden.

Not crazy enough for you? Well, consider this from Slate:

“On Wednesday, a member of the Arizona election audit team that has been heavily touted by former President Donald Trump revealed that its examination of the 2020 vote in Maricopa County will include a ‘forensic’ analysis of ballots to determine if the paper is made of bamboo—in order to determine whether or not China delivered tens of thousands of fraudulent ballots to tip the state to Joe Biden.”

Yep, truth truly is stranger than fiction. You simply cannot make this shit up!

John Brakey, one of the officials who is “overseeing” the Arizona audit, was the clown who floated the “Asia” theory of what took place last November, remarking:

“There’s accusations that 40,000 ballots were flown in and stuffed into the box and it came from the Southeast part of the world, Asia. And what they’re doing is to find out if there’s bamboo in the paper.”

Bamboo in the paper. He actually said that. Here’s the video for any doubters:

When Brakey was asked the logical follow-up question, Why are you looking for bamboo, he responded:

“People in Southeast Asia…use bamboo in their paper processing. This is part of the mystery that we want to un-gaslight people about.”

Clearly, John Brakey has been sniffing far too much of the gas in the “gaslight” he’s referring to, and it has permanently damaged what little bit of brain matter he had left in his otherwise empty skull.

So this is where we’re at when it comes to the Trump faithful and millions of Republican voters across the United States: If the GOP loses, it must have been because the Democrats cheated. Of course, all evidence suggests that the vast majority of those who commit what little voter fraud there is in the country are card-carrying Republicans. But their cheating doesn’t count because it’s done on behalf of the best interests of the poor, ignorant voters who have no idea which way to mark their ballot.

Truth is now dead among at least half of this country. They killed it and now they want to replace with a conspiracy theory they found in the darkest bowels of the internet.

Maybe we should give these morons their very own “nation” on an abandoned oil derrick out in the Pacific Ocean and let them live in their version of reality instead of running the risk they’ll infect anyone else.

Categories
Congress Social Media WTF?!

Jim Jordan Got Caught In A Massive Lie That Proves Just How Clueless He Is

Ever since the COVID-19 pandemic began, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) has been vehemently opposed to safety precautions and any form of shutdowns, even if doing so would have lives and help control the deadly virus, which has already claimed the lives of over 577,000 Americans.

So it probably shouldn’t come as any surprise that Jordan is harping on making sure schools in the Buckeye State are opened for the academic year, which has already begun in many states.

But four tweets Jordan posted over the past few weeks are downright lies, as his Democratic opponent in the 2022 midterm, Jeff Sites, made sure and pointed out on Monday:

Ohio schools have been open since March, but Jordan is still firing off angry tweets about opening schools? Granted, Jordan isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, but a quick Google search would have told him that Ohio students are back in class.

As Sites noted, it certainly seems that Jordan is more interested in getting headlines and airtime on Fox News than actually taking a moment to get to the truth. For Jim Jordan (like so many Republicans), facts are always secondary to propaganda.

Internet karma quickly caught up with Congressman Jordan:

If you’re as sick of Gym Jordan as many of his constituents are, be sure and go to Jeff Sites’ campaign website — sitesforcongress.com — and contribute what you can. The time has come to get rid of liars and frauds like Jordan.

Categories
Social Media U.S. Senate

Ted Cruz Picked A Twitter Fight With Trevor Noah – That Was A BIG Mistake

There are few people in this country who are as widely disliked as Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), who has also been called the most hated man in the U.S. Senate.

Despite this knowledge, Cruz seems determined to pick fights with those who can easily make him look like the moronic troglodyte that he is and reinforce his own pathetic ineptitude when it comes to debating.

For example, Ted ran across a clip of “The Daily Show” and saw host Trevor Noah commenting on some of the results from the 2020 Census. Noah zinged Cruz with this line:

“Aside from New York getting screwed, the big news out of the census is that America’s population grew at the slowest rate since the 1930s. Basically, immigration is down and the birth rate is falling, primarily due to this photo.”

Cue a photo of Ted Cruz.

Clearly, Noah is making a joke. That’s kind of his job. But Cruz got his feelings hurt and tweeted a response that came across as pure asshole:

As you’d expect, Noah was equal to the challenge, and he fired off this retort:

Cruz should have left well enough alone. But he just couldn’t:

That’s when former host Jon Stewart joined the fray:

Noah then finished off the Texas Republican:

Game, set, and match, Trevor Noah, with an assist by Jon Stewart.

At last report, Ted Cruz was seen slithering out of his Senate office and heading to the nearest international airport. He was said to be carrying a box of tissues.

 

Categories
Donald Trump The Trump Adminstration

Trump Messed Up Some Of His Pardons – And The Recipients Can Still Be Prosecuted

In the final days of his administration, Donald Trump handed out 74 pardons and commuted the sentences of 70 others who had been convicted and sentenced to federal prison.

NBC News notes that many of those who received pardons from Trump were close friends, former associates, or people he believed would somehow endear him to the rich assholes he’s known to hang out with at Mar-a-Lago:

“A list of 143 people included his former chief strategist and longtime ally Steve Bannon as well as his former top fundraiser Elliott Broidy. Then, with less than an hour to go before President-elect Joe Biden was set to be sworn in, Trump granted one last pardon: to Albert J. Pirro, Jr., the ex-husband of Fox News host and longtime ally Jeanine Pirro.”

But some of those pardons were so narrowly constructed and written that they leave the recipients open to prosecution by the Justice Department and Attorney General Merrick Garland.

Former Mueller investigation chief prosecutor Andrew Weissmann spelled out the mistakes Trump made in the pardons of two individuals, longtime Trump friend and confidant Roger Stone and Trump’s 2016 campaign manager, Paul Manafort, in an article he wrote for Just Security:

“The pardon for Paul Manafort (on Dec. 23, 2020), is illustrative. By its own terms, the pardon covers only the crimes “for his conviction” on specific charges and not any other crimes (charged or uncharged). Specifically, the pardon is solely for the crimes of conviction — eight in the Eastern District of Virginia and two in the District of Columbia. That leaves numerous crimes as to which Manafort can still be prosecuted, as in Virginia there were 10 hung counts. In Washington, the situation is even more wide open. In that district, Manafort pleaded to a superseding information containing two conspiracy charges, while the entire underlying indictment — containing numerous crimes from money laundering, to witness tampering, to violation of the Foreign Agents Registration Act — now remains open to prosecution as there was no conviction for those charges.”

And then we have Roger Stone and a rouges gallery of other criminals:

“Manafort is not the only example of narrow Trump pardons that may be rectified by the incoming Attorney General. The same narrow pardons were provided to Special Counsel Office defendants Roger Stone (Dec. 23, 2020), George Papadopoulos (Dec. 22, 2020), and Alex van den Zwaan (Dec. 22, 2020), as well as the myriad other felons who received pardons or commutations on December 22 and 23, 2020. As noted, these defendants include murderers, corrupt politicians and law enforcement officers, and Philip Esformes, the single largest health care fraudster in history. These windows of opportunity are due in significant part to a practice followed by prosecutors’ offices across the country: permitting defendants to plead to some, but not all, of their crimes. That feature of these cases should now redound to the benefit of the government, as it may now permit the Department to see that justice is done.”

All of these people can be tried and convicted once again, and this time they won’t be getting a presidential pardon, so they’ll have to serve all of their sentences without the promise of a get-out-of-jail free card waiting for them if they agree to not testify against Trump.

As with everything he does, Donald Trump failed. He wanted to provide protection to those who didn’t testify against him, but all he did was make it more likely they’ll wind up in prison for much longer than they anticipated.