Categories
Elections GOP GOP Whining WTF?!

Arizona Republicans Are Looking For ‘Bamboo Fibers’ On Ballots To Prove China Stole The 2020 Election

In their desperate and futile attempt to prove that accused rapist and one-term loser former President Donald Trump actually won the state of Arizona (and the entire 2020 election), Republicans in the Grand Canyon State are now asserting that China stole the vote from Trump and handed it to Joe Biden.

Not crazy enough for you? Well, consider this from Slate:

“On Wednesday, a member of the Arizona election audit team that has been heavily touted by former President Donald Trump revealed that its examination of the 2020 vote in Maricopa County will include a ‘forensic’ analysis of ballots to determine if the paper is made of bamboo—in order to determine whether or not China delivered tens of thousands of fraudulent ballots to tip the state to Joe Biden.”

Yep, truth truly is stranger than fiction. You simply cannot make this shit up!

John Brakey, one of the officials who is “overseeing” the Arizona audit, was the clown who floated the “Asia” theory of what took place last November, remarking:

“There’s accusations that 40,000 ballots were flown in and stuffed into the box and it came from the Southeast part of the world, Asia. And what they’re doing is to find out if there’s bamboo in the paper.”

Bamboo in the paper. He actually said that. Here’s the video for any doubters:

When Brakey was asked the logical follow-up question, Why are you looking for bamboo, he responded:

“People in Southeast Asia…use bamboo in their paper processing. This is part of the mystery that we want to un-gaslight people about.”

Clearly, John Brakey has been sniffing far too much of the gas in the “gaslight” he’s referring to, and it has permanently damaged what little bit of brain matter he had left in his otherwise empty skull.

So this is where we’re at when it comes to the Trump faithful and millions of Republican voters across the United States: If the GOP loses, it must have been because the Democrats cheated. Of course, all evidence suggests that the vast majority of those who commit what little voter fraud there is in the country are card-carrying Republicans. But their cheating doesn’t count because it’s done on behalf of the best interests of the poor, ignorant voters who have no idea which way to mark their ballot.

Truth is now dead among at least half of this country. They killed it and now they want to replace with a conspiracy theory they found in the darkest bowels of the internet.

Maybe we should give these morons their very own “nation” on an abandoned oil derrick out in the Pacific Ocean and let them live in their version of reality instead of running the risk they’ll infect anyone else.

Categories
Congress Social Media WTF?!

Jim Jordan Got Caught In A Massive Lie That Proves Just How Clueless He Is

Ever since the COVID-19 pandemic began, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) has been vehemently opposed to safety precautions and any form of shutdowns, even if doing so would have lives and help control the deadly virus, which has already claimed the lives of over 577,000 Americans.

So it probably shouldn’t come as any surprise that Jordan is harping on making sure schools in the Buckeye State are opened for the academic year, which has already begun in many states.

But four tweets Jordan posted over the past few weeks are downright lies, as his Democratic opponent in the 2022 midterm, Jeff Sites, made sure and pointed out on Monday:

Ohio schools have been open since March, but Jordan is still firing off angry tweets about opening schools? Granted, Jordan isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, but a quick Google search would have told him that Ohio students are back in class.

As Sites noted, it certainly seems that Jordan is more interested in getting headlines and airtime on Fox News than actually taking a moment to get to the truth. For Jim Jordan (like so many Republicans), facts are always secondary to propaganda.

Internet karma quickly caught up with Congressman Jordan:

If you’re as sick of Gym Jordan as many of his constituents are, be sure and go to Jeff Sites’ campaign website — sitesforcongress.com — and contribute what you can. The time has come to get rid of liars and frauds like Jordan.

Categories
Donald Trump Elections WTF?!

Trump Is Moving From Florida To New Jersey – The Reason Is Bad News For All Of Us

Failed, one-term former President Donald Trump is on the move, preparing to head from Florida to New Jersey, and though the reason stated for his relocation is blamed on the hot South Florida weather as summer approaches, it seems Trump has ulterior motives.

Business Insider reports that Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach normally closes after Memorial Day due to the intolerable heat and humidity, so Trump and his so-called “team” of advisers will be relocating to the Garden State:

“They’re moving the whole operation to New Jersey because they’re going to start doing more fundraising.”

The new location for loser Trump will likely be his Bedminster golf resort:

“Now it looks like the new base for Trump loyalists could be temporarily moved 1,200 miles away to his plush, east coast club.

“The club opened in 2004 and is about an hour from Trump Tower in Manhattan, with the most expensive membership reportedly costing $300,000 annually.”

Bedminster was supposed to be the location of next year’s PGA championship, but that golf tournament was canceled shortly after the January 6 Capitol insurrection which many blame Trump for helping to incite with his rhetoric just hours before the rioting began.

Also, if Trump is planning to do more fundraising that suggests that he is still attempting to gain control of the Republican Party so he can leverage that position to seek the 2024 GOP presidential nomination.

But while Trump and his advisers may be eager to get him back into the political world, he’s also facing criminal charges and numerous lawsuits, any of which could wind up sending him prison for decades.

Also, it should be noted that the current governor of New Jersey is a Democrat, Phil Murphy, who will not hesitate to sign extradition orders if the former president is indicted in New York, Washington, D.C., or any other U.S. venue.

Trump may be heading north to escape the heat, but he could wind up going from the frying pan right into the fire.

 

Categories
Congress Crime Fox News GOP WTF?!

Matt Gaetz Went On Fox News And Accused Tucker Carlson Of Being A Sex Offender

On Tuesday evening, just hours after the New York Times reported that Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) is under federal investigation for sex trafficking for an alleged affair he had with a 17-year-old girl, Gaetz appeared on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show and tried to suggest that he was the victim of a smear campaign to extort money from his father, a wealthy attorney.

In other words, Gaetz tried to cover up his own crime by lying and creating a bullshit conspiracy theory. That’s what Republicans do because that’s what Donald Trump is so fond of doing.

But as he spun his BS story, Gaetz mentioned that Carlson had also been charged as a sex offender, remarking:

“I‘m not the only person on screen right now that has been falsely accused of a terrible sex act.” 

The reference Gaetz made was to a sexual harassment filed against Fox News.

Carlson bristled at Gaetz’s comparison:

“You just referred to a mentally ill viewer who accused me of a sex crime 20 years ago and, of course, it was not true. I never met the person. But I do agree with you that being accused falsely that being accused falsely is one of the worst things that can happen and you do see it a lot. Let’s go back to the investigation you say it was or is underway. There was an investigation. What is the basis of that investigation? What is the allegation that really not very clear from these news stories.”

Clearly, what Gaetz was engaged in was classic deflection: Bring up an allegation to cover your own. The technique is popular with liars.

After the interview, Carlson made it clear to his viewers that he wasn’t sure what to make of what had just transpired:

“You just saw our Matt Gaetz interview. That was one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever conducted. That story just appeared in the news a couple of hours ago, and on the certainty that there’s always more than you read in the newspaper, we immediately called Matt Gaetz and asked him to come on and tell us more. Which, as you saw, he did. I don’t think that clarified much, but it certainly showed this is a deeply interesting story and we’ll be following it.”

Oh, it was weird all right. It was a complete clusterfuck and the only purpose it served was to give Gaetz a platform for his lies.

Gaetz is innocent until proven guilty. But his wild tale certainly suggests he’s hiding something.

Categories
Donald Trump The Trump Adminstration

Former Staffer Says Jared Kushner Is Gay And In An ‘Arranged Marriage’ With Ivanka

The final night of the Republican convention last month was full-scale propaganda night, with the apex of the lying and misinformation being (as you’d expect), Donald Trump’s 70-minute long rant in which he repeatedly patted himself on the back while simultaneously spewing out bullshit about how terrible things would be if he’s not reelected. In other words, only he can fix it, but he’s had four years and hasn’t fixed shit. But give him four more and everything will be unicorns and cotton candy.


Prior to the Donald’s dystopian soliloquy, however, his daughter, Ivanka — who also happens to work in the White House in some capacity no can seem to explain — did her best to paint her father as some sort of normal guy instead of the monster he truly is.

Perhaps the most disgusting thing Ivanka said was this:

“Dad, people attack you for being unconventional. But I love you for being real, and I respect you for being effective.”

Effective at what? Being a total racist asshole so filled with bullshit that everything he does is coated with a dark sheen of fetid feces?


Around the time Ivanka was speaking, Noel Casler, who was a showrunner on “The Apprentice,” fired off a tweet that got a lot of attention on social media:

Wow! Now that’s a headline-grabber!

Most people who read Casler’s tweet said they had no problem believing his accusation, but some also had questions:

Things just keep getting more interesting when it comes to the Trumps. Hopefully very soon they can work out their issues in private or, even better, in prison.