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Tucker Carlson Complains About ‘Androgynous’ M&Ms And Gets Masterfully Trolled By Eric Swalwell

It’s been a busy week in the news, filled with developments in the January 6 investigation and the ongoing debate over voting rights legislation which is being held hostage by Senate Republicans (assisted by two Democrats, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema), so you may have missed the childish hissy fit pitched by Fox News host Tucker Carlson over M&M candy being made “androgynous.”

You simply can’t make this shit up. It’s 2022 and truth always winds up being stranger (and dumber) than fiction.

Newsweek notes that Carlson went on an extended rant during his show Friday evening on the subject of genderless M&Ms:

Mars announced on Thursday that the company would make changes to M&Ms as part of its “global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong, and society is inclusive.”

Carlson said: “Bet you didn’t think M&Ms were pushing intolerance, but they were, they’ve been changed.”

“You’re seeing those changes on the screen,” he said as images of the rebranded M&Ms were displayed.

OK, Tucker. Just let it go. No need to make a big production number out of candy. But he proceeded to do exactly that, remarking:

“The green M&M, you will notice, is no longer wearing sexy boots. Now she’s wearing sensible sneakers. Why the change? Well according to M&Ms, ‘We all win when we see more women in leading roles.’

“Because leading women do not wear sexy boots, leading women wear frumpy shoes. The frumpier the better. That’s the rule.”

Please, gods of TV, make it stop. Make it stop!!

It did not stop, as Tucker prattled on:

“The other big change is that the brown M&M has ‘transitioned from high stilettos to lower block heels,’ also less sexy. That’s progress. M&Ms will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous.

“Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you are totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. They’ve won.”

Wait a minute. Time out! Tucker Carlson was turned on by candy? Guess that shouldn’t surprise us since he’s the heir to the Swanson frozen dinner fortune, but did he need to share his perversion with the world? Of course he did; Fox demands such depravity for their sexually repressed viewers.

However, one good thing did come out of Carlson’s lunacy: The response from Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), who fired back at the Fox host with this magnificent piece of online trolling:

Boom! Mic drop. Game, set, and match Eric Swalwell. Thank you for making this whole thing laughable, congressman.

By Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

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