Last night in Dallas, supporters of the QAnon conspiracy theory began gathering at the AT&T Discovery Plaza to await the return of John F. Kennedy Jr., who died in a 1999 plane crash.
However, according to those who are assembling in Dallas, the son of the late President John F. Kennedy actually faked his death and will soon reappear on the public stage to help them bring down the so-called “Deep State” they believe is in control of the U.S. government and other countries around the world.
Yes, according to the QAnoners, we’re about to see the second coming of JFK Jr. Why he’s waited 22 years to show up again is unclear, as are most of the absurdities championed by the conspiracy theorists who also worship failed, one-term former President Donald Trump as a demigod.
Some in the Dallas assemblage, according to reporters, were wearing T-shirts suggesting that JFK Jr. will be Trump’s running mate in 2024. Others have suggested that John F. Kennedy Sr. is still alive and will soon “transfer power” to the Donald, according to Newsweek.
Just so you know, all of this is supposed to take place on Tuesday, so at least we won’t have to wait long for the QAnon nutjobs to realize that once again their timing is off by a couple of decades. Of course, that also means they’ll probably just change the date and meet up again in a month or two on some other day they’ll assure us is “auspicious” for a return of all sorts of deceased celebs. Maybe Harry Houdini can be there and transform the crowd into a pack of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles who will wander the face of the earth and avenge all of the nincompoops who believe bullshit conspiracy theories.
None of this should surprise anyone who knows the core belief at the center of the QAnon brainwashing canon:
“The QAnon conspiracy, which originated on online message boards, holds that an elite global cabal of Satanic pedophiles is engaged in mass child sex trafficking and that, somehow, former President Donald Trump will expose this group and order its members arrested and sentenced to death.”
Meanwhile, somewhere in eternity, John F. Kennedy Jr. is laughing his ass off.