Categories
Congress GOP WTF?!

Marjorie Greene Claims Killing Of Al Qaeda Leader Was Faked To Boost Dems In Midterm Election

Despite bipartisan praise for the killing of Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri on Monday, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) couldn’t resist going on Twitter this morning and suggesting that the entire thing had been faked to help bolster Democratic candidates in the upcoming midterm election.

Monday evening, President Joe Biden went on national television to announce Zawahiri’s death, telling Americans:

“He carved a trail of murder and violence against American citizens, American service members, American diplomats, and American interests. Now, justice has been delivered. And this terrorist leader is no more.”

Rather than applauding the death of a known terrorist mastermind, however, Greene went on social media and began belching out one lie after another.

Greene was quickly swatted down by others on Twitter.

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Categories
Fox News Right Wing Morons WTF?!

Fox & Friends Host: Bill Gates Is Buying US Farmland So He Can ‘Control The Population’

“Fox & Friends” host Rachel Campos-Duffy had her tinfoil hat on extra tight Sunday morning as she laid out a bizarre conspiracy theory about Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and his purchase of farmland in the United States.

During discussion of climate change protests outside the home of White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain this weekend, Campos-Duffy went off on a completely unhinged rant that started with her remarking:

“You know, when you raise the cost of fuel it raises the cost of food and everything else. I’m concerned that it is more… that we’re going to see consequences that are even beyond that, that affect our food supply, because when you enact this climate emergency, this now puts regulations on small farmers and they can’t handle all of these regulations.”

She continued:

“And what ends up happening is, it put as financial strain on them. Suddenly the big conglomerates and businesses, or even these predator oligarchs like Bill Gates come in, and they go, oh, we’ll just buy up that land because you can’t be profitable as a farmer anymore.

“And now all of the sudden they can control the food supply, and if you control the food supply in a country you control the population. And you just have to look over to the Netherlands to know this isn’t some conspiracy.”

And and and…then the flying monkeys appear in the sky and you know that you’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy, because Kansas is owned by Bill Gates now and he wants to starve Toto and the Tin Man to death!

Actually, Campos-Duffy concluded her wildly fantastical verbal diarrhea by saying:

“This is something we really need to think about, especially as the food supply is already constrained, Pete, what we see happening with fertilizer, with Russia and grains, and so many issues with supply chain because of the war in Ukraine.”

So is Bill Gates buying up American farmland at a worrisome rate? Not according to Snopes, which debunked that lie not long ago. In fact, he now owns less than 0.3% of all the farmland in this country. There are dairy farmers that own two or three times that amount. There are also so-called “corporate farmers” who own so much farmland that we should indeed be concerned, but the Windows Man ain’t one of them.

Gates has explained the reason for his purchase of farmland:

“The agriculture sector is important. With more productive seeds we can avoid deforestation and help Africa deal with the climate difficulty they already face. It is unclear how cheap biofuels can be but if they are cheap it can solve the aviation and truck emissions.”

See, Bill Gates gives a damn about the environment and starvation in places such as Africa. The rest of us should, too, but sometimes distance makes it easy to overlook need.

Bill Gates is a bad person to Rachel Campos-Duffy and others on the right because he wants to solve problems and help everyone on the planet, not just the Rupert Murdoch and Donald Trumps of the world.

If anyone’s a threat, it’s Campos-Duffy, who has SEVEN children and is making the world a hungrier place every damn time she sits that horde down for a meal.

h/t Crooks & Liars

Categories
GOP Joe Biden WTF?!

Republicans Say Cows Dead From Extreme Heat Were Killed By Biden To Destroy The US Food Supply

Over the past seven years or so — say since Donald Trump decided in 2015 that he was running for president — we’ve been bombarded with one absurd, fact-free, idiotic conspiracy theory after another, some of which came from Trump, others from Republicans and nutjob right-wingers who were once kept mostly in the shadows.

Consider just a few of the viral conspiracy theories that have circulated during that time, most of which did indeed originate with Trump:

  • Barack Obama was born in a foreign country
  • Ted Cruz’s father played a role in the assassination of John F. Kennedy
  • Windmills cause cancer
  • Climate change was created by China to destroy the United States

And yet somehow all of those pale in comparison to the one making the rounds in GOP circles involving reports that thousands of cows have died this summer as a result of extreme heat, according to The Daily Beast:

Republicans have seized on the deaths of thousands of cattle in a Kansas heat wave as the latest proof of a baseless conspiracy theory that saboteurs ranging from the mega-wealthy to the government are out to destroy the national food supply.

That hoax has been circulating on the right for months, but received new energy after thousands of cattle in Kansas died in a June heatwave in which temperatures topped 104 degrees. A viral video that showed what appeared to be hundreds of dead cattle was cited by as proof that someone—the Biden administration, liberal billionaires, or an unnamed elite cabal—was behind the deaths.

Here we go again. Grab your tinfoil hat and get ready for the mind-numbing craziness that has been unleashed thanks to some deceased bovine.

Let’s start with Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC), who thankfully lost his primary election in May and will not be returning to the House of Representatives:

In a speech on the House floor, Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) said Americans have “every right to be skeptical” about the food-supply incidents, including the cattle deaths and the baby formula shortage. Cawthorn described the incidents as a “seemly unexplainable series of food industry accidents” being ignored by the media.

“Does no one care that children are starving you and your colleagues feast at Le Diplomate?” Cawthorn said, referring to the French restaurant popular with Washington politicos.

Hey, Madison, doesn’t one of your relatives need his face humped? Shouldn’t you go tend to that and leave politics to the non-loonified?

Or perhaps Tennessee House candidate Robby Starbuck is more in tune with the mass hysteria which has overtaken the GOP in recent years:

“They did not die of extreme heat,” Starbuck tweeted. “I talked to multiple ranchers since I saw this video (one from Kansas) and they all say this needs to be investigated ASAP to get to the bottom of this because there’s no way heat caused 10,000+ cattle to drop dead. This is not normal.”

Are cows supposed to be immune to extreme heat? If it gets hot enough, any animal (the human animal included) can collapse and die. That’s medical and scientific fact. But since when do conservatives believe in facts?

Personally, I’m waiting for the rumor to start that deceased humans are being converted into food and sold back to us in the form of say…beef jerky or green tea smoothies. Only when that can be proven will we all be able to stand on our front porches and cry out in anguish, “Soylent Green is people!”

Categories
QAnon WTF?!

QAnon Cultists Gathering In Dallas Once Again To Await The Return Of A 105-Year-Old JFK

Last November, more than a thousand of the loons who consider themselves members of the QAnon conspiracy cult began gathering in Dallas to await the return of the John F. Kennedy (along with his son, John F. Kennedy Jr.), the late president who was assassinated in the city back in 1963.

As you might expect, neither JFK or JFK Jr. ever showed, probably because they’re both dead.

But despite that, Vice News reports, the QAnon crazies are headed back to Dallas, once again because JFK will be rising from the dead:

It’s been 220 days since more than 1,000 people traveled from across the U.S. to Dallas at the behest of Michael Protzman, a QAnon influencer known as Negative 48, who promised his followers that John F. Kennedy would reappear at Dealey Plaza. JFK didn’t reappear, of course, but the QAnon cult is now returning to Texas.

More than seven months after the group first met in Dallas, it is heading back to the city this weekend after Protzman once again promised that JFK would reveal himself to the group, proving once and for all that he is, in fact, the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Protzman has already checked into the Hyatt Regency, where hundreds of people gathered back in November.

“What started in Dallas ends in Dallas,” one member of a Telegram group linked to the cult wrote on Friday morning.

So now JFK is Jesus? That’s a neat twist, don’t ya think?

But wait, the plot gets even crazier the longer you listen to Protzman’s BS:

Earlier this week, Protzman, in hours-long audio chats on his Telegram channel, laid out what he predicted would happen this weekend. He told his followers that JFK would only reveal himself to those willing to travel to Dallas on Saturday. This would be followed by 10 days of darkness before JFK would finally reveal himself to the world

Family members of those who follow the bizarre pronouncements from the cult didn’t exactly sound enthusiastic about what’s actually going to happen in Dallas this weekend, with one noting:

“​​I’d like to say that I am glad Protzman’s group of believers are all heading back to Dallas so that Michael Protzman will be exposed as a liar, but I am not holding my breath that any of his followers will suddenly have the ability to think critically and see that they are following a madman. They have the uncanny ability to believe everything Protzman tells them. I mean EVERYTHING.”

Oh, and let’s not forget that Protzman and some of the QAnon nutjobs have also shown up at rallies held by failed former president Donald Trump, who is actually JFK in disguise, they claim.

Want to see a bunch of lemmings in a hotel? Look no further than this video of the QAnoners showing up at Dallas hotels to wait for the late president to show himself:

Yeah, these people are more than a few bricks short of a load.

Categories
Right Wing Morons

Financial Weight Of Multiple Lawsuits Has Alex Jones On The Brink Of Bankruptcy: Report

Right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is on the verge of filing for bankruptcy as the weight of multiple lawsuits against him is causing severe financial stress, according to a report from Bloomberg.

Companies owned by far-right radio host Alex Jones are getting advice from restructuring advisers and considering options including a potential bankruptcy filing after being hit by lawsuits over Jones’s conspiracy theories, according to a person with knowledge of the matter.

A Chapter 11 filing would aim to allow Jones’s businesses, such as Infowars and Free Speech Systems, to keep operating while pausing civil litigation against them, said the person, who asked not to be identified because the discussions are private.

Just last year, Jones and his companies were found liable of defamation in a lawsuit brought by relatives of the 20 children who died in the 2012 Sandy Hook school shooting. Jones labeled the shootings fake and a hoax, suggesting they were part of a “false flag” operation that would allow the U.S. government to impose new gun control regulations. The full value of the damages that will be imposed on Jones has not yet been decided, but could well total in the tens of millions of dollars.

Attorneys for Jones have asserted that their client’s First Amendment rights are being violated and that he had an absolute right to make the comments about the Sandy Hook massacre.

However, legal experts have noted that no one has a right to spread outright lies and bogus conspiracy theories in order to get ratings and raise money. Such actions are clearly beyond the scope of the protections afforded by the Constitution.

Jones has also been accused of transferring money from his company in an effort to hide his assets. According to attorneys for the Sandy Hook families, Jones began those transfers shortly after they filed their defamation suit in 2018. He allegedly transferred $18 to an entity called  PQPR, which is said to be controlled by Jones or members of his family.