Don Jr. Kicks Off His CPAC Speech With A Soliloquy About Drugs: ‘Crack Is Not Really My Thing’

The 2022 Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC), a three-day orgy of lies, conspiracy theories, and fanatical worship of authoritarian assholes (Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin) has come to an end, but the finale of the event provided what may well go down in history as one of the most bizarre and surreal speeches ever given.

Donald Trump Jr., eldest son of failed, one-term, twice-impeached former President Donald Trump, took the stage and immediately began talking about drugs, which is more than a tad bit ironic considering the rumors that have surrounded Don Jr. for years regarding his own alleged substance abuse, most notably cocaine.

Consider two examples that some say show Junior under the influence of coke or some other stimulant:

So it came as more than a bit of a surprise when Don Jr. opened his CPAC speech by making odd allegations about Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden. But in the process, Junior also seemed to suggest that he might have some skeletons in his own substance abuse closet:

“There are consequences to being on our side, right? If there weren’t, I’d become an artist and sell my crap for half a million dollars. If there weren’t, I would take a billion dollars from China knowing that that’s just fine.

“I’d have a laptop with all of our enemies and it won’t matter. Crack’s not really my thing but if it was, it would be fine if I was on that side.”

Why in the hell is he SCREAMING?! He’s wearing a freaking lapel microphone that magnifies his words, so why is he yelling like a man in need of a Thorazine injection?

From there, Don Jr. raged from one topic to another, desperately trying to connect his disjointed ranting in some coherent conspiracy theory involving the media, Joe Biden, Democrats, and (of course) Hillary Clinton.

Reaction from those who viewed the video of Junior’s speech was interesting, to say the least.

We totally get it, Junior: You don’t have to smoke your cocaine. You always use a crisp Ben Franklin for the lines you hoover up. How refined you are!