Trump Urges Would-Be Assassins To ‘Shoot Through The Fake News’ At Pennsylvania Rally

During a Sunday campaign rally in the key battleground state of Pennsylvania, failed one-term, twice-impeached former president Donald Trump suggested that if any assassins had designs on taking shots at him, they should aim at members of the media covering the event instead.

Pointing out that he is now surrounded by bulletproof ballistic glass when he speaks in public, Trump noted, “And I have a piece of glass over here, and I don’t have a piece of glass there, and I have this piece of glass here. But all we have really over here is the fake news, right?”

“And to get me, somebody would have to shoot through the fake news, and I don’t mind that so much,” he continued. “I don’t mind, I don’t mind that.”

The only problem with being surrounded by the protective glass, Trump added, is that it doesn’t “look great on television.”

“No, when you see yourself on television, you say, boy, you’re, you’re really not very recognizable, to be honest with you, which is good.”

Minutes later, Trump claimed he was a “very smart person” because his nonsensical ramblings were all part of his “weave” strategy that only smart people understand.

“You know, now they are saying that was the most brilliant speech is saying it’s a weave. And then what happens is while you’re here, there’s a point having to do with that point. And you go weave, weave, then you come here, then you do another weave, weave, weave.”

“And it’s very complex. But then it gets very simple because it all comes brilliantly and beautifully together. And they actually acknowledge this total genius there.”

Total genius? He’s the dumbest person ever elected to public office in the history of the United States. A block of granite is smarter than Donald Trump.

Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

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