Trump Says He’d Win In Blue States If Jesus ‘Came Down’ And Counted The Votes

Speaking at one of his patented over-the-top political rallies in Iowa on Saturday evening, failed one-term, twice-impeached, and multiply-indicted ex-president Donald Trump said he has no doubt whatsoever that he won several blue states in the 2020 election and would win them once more in 2024 if only Jesus would “come down” and count the ballots.

Mediaite reports that Trump made all sorts of bizarre statements, but it was the ones about Jesus tabulating votes that drew the most attention.

“I actually believe that if they didn’t have rigged elections out there, if they didn’t have all the paper bal– you know, they send out like 36 million ballots and nobody knows where the hell they’re going to or coming from. I think a few people know where they’re going to and a few people know where they’re coming from,” said Trump about California.

“But I think if you had a real election and Jesus came down and God came down and said, I’m going to be the scorekeeper here, I think we would win there,” said Trump. “I think would win in Illinois, and I think it would win in New York, which is all places that, in theory –”

New York, Trump continued, is turning against Democrats due to the issue of immigration, so the Empire State should be easy pickings in next year’s presidential race.

“I think you can win New York. I think you can win New Jersey. I think we can win Virginia. People that, states that in theory, would be with us.”

Then it was back to the airing of grievances about the 2020 race, which Trump lost in an electoral landslide to President Joe Biden.

“I think for years we could have won them. These elections are rigged. Our elections are totally rigged and we got to do something about it. The radical left Democrats rigged the presidential election of 2020, and we’re not going to allow them to rig the presidential election of 2024 and destroy our country totally.”

What Trump neglected to explain is why Jesus or God would intervene on his behalf. After all, he’s the most corrupt and immoral person to ever run for any public office.

Also, according to the Bible (which Trump has never read), God doesn’t bless evil people, and there are few human beings more filled with devilish motives than the clown who still thinks he’s beloved by the American people.