Ted Cruz Thumps His Bible At Stephen King And Promptly Gets His A*s Handed To Him

Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz really needs to take an extended absence from social media. Why? Because he keeps trying to troll others and always winds up humiliating himself because he clearly has no discernable sense of humor.

Consider just a couple of spectacular Twitter fails for Cruz that left him with internet egg on his face:

In October, Cruz was forced to delete a tweet he posted about Muslim white supremacists: “Cruz tweeted out a screenshot of what he claimed was an article from the Atlantic which was titled “The Evolution of White Supremacy” and included a subtitle which read: ‘In Dearborn Michigan, Muslim parents who oppose teaching pornography to children become the new face of the far right.”

Turns out the story was fake and Cruz fell for the lie.

Cruz also attempted to troll White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre on the subject of student loan debt relief, posting a tweet that read “We believe in Santa Clause. And unicorns. And pixie dust!”

The guy graduated from Princeton and Harvard Law, but he can’t even manage to spell a name that most five-year-old kids have mastered.

And now Teddy Boy has responded to a tweet from novelist Stephen King in which the bestselling author encouraged kids to read as much as possible, even books that may be banned at their school (especially if they live in a deep red state like Texas), writing:

“Hey, kids! It’s your old buddy Steve King telling you that if they ban a book in your school, haul your ass to the nearest bookstore or library ASAP and find out what they don’t want you to read.”

Exactly. If they’re going to keep books away from kids in school libraries and classrooms, there’s always the bookstore and public library. Many curious young bookworms (including me) have done exactly that when anyone dared to try and keep information from us.

Cruz, however, couldn’t resist responding:

“And just like that, millions of kids began reading the Bible….”

Very few (if any) school districts in the United States have banned the Bible, so that’s a false equivalency. And here’s betting Teddy would pitch a hissy fit if the Koran was also allowed in Texas schools.

Though King hasn’t yet responded to Cruz, others did, and they let the senator have it.

Free advice, Ted: Delete your Twitter account and become a monk. That way you can read the Bible all day and night without interruption except for when you need to rub one out.