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Donald Trump Jr. WTF?!

Don Jr. Kicks Off His CPAC Speech With A Soliloquy About Drugs: ‘Crack Is Not Really My Thing’

The 2022 Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC), a three-day orgy of lies, conspiracy theories, and fanatical worship of authoritarian assholes (Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin) has come to an end, but the finale of the event provided what may well go down in history as one of the most bizarre and surreal speeches ever given.

Donald Trump Jr., eldest son of failed, one-term, twice-impeached former President Donald Trump, took the stage and immediately began talking about drugs, which is more than a tad bit ironic considering the rumors that have surrounded Don Jr. for years regarding his own alleged substance abuse, most notably cocaine.

Consider two examples that some say show Junior under the influence of coke or some other stimulant:

So it came as more than a bit of a surprise when Don Jr. opened his CPAC speech by making odd allegations about Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden. But in the process, Junior also seemed to suggest that he might have some skeletons in his own substance abuse closet:

“There are consequences to being on our side, right? If there weren’t, I’d become an artist and sell my crap for half a million dollars. If there weren’t, I would take a billion dollars from China knowing that that’s just fine.

“I’d have a laptop with all of our enemies and it won’t matter. Crack’s not really my thing but if it was, it would be fine if I was on that side.”

Why in the hell is he SCREAMING?! He’s wearing a freaking lapel microphone that magnifies his words, so why is he yelling like a man in need of a Thorazine injection?

From there, Don Jr. raged from one topic to another, desperately trying to connect his disjointed ranting in some coherent conspiracy theory involving the media, Joe Biden, Democrats, and (of course) Hillary Clinton.

Reaction from those who viewed the video of Junior’s speech was interesting, to say the least.

We totally get it, Junior: You don’t have to smoke your cocaine. You always use a crisp Ben Franklin for the lines you hoover up. How refined you are!

Categories
Congress GOP Justice Department WTF?!

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC That Congress Should Keep The DOJ From Investigating Him For Sexual Trafficking

Speaking at the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) in Orlando, Florida on Saturday evening, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) suggested that Congress should have the power to make the Justice Department stop investigating him or anyone else for whatever disgusting crimes they may have committed.

Gaetz is currently under federal investigation for allegedly engaging in the sexual trafficking of an underage girl. If convicted, he could be sentenced to life in prison.

But if the Florida congressman has his way, the investigation would disappear:

“The Judiciary Committee should stop the DOJ from targeting political opponents whether they are parents, whether they are falsely labeled as extremists, or whether they are lawmakers engaged in the oversight of the DOJ.”

Gaetz also accused the FBI of “cheating worse than the Russian figure skating team.” However, he offered no proof for his specious allegation.

Gaetz’s remarks set off a wave of mockery and ridicule on Twitter:

 

Categories
Capitol Insurrection GOP Right Wing Morons WTF?!

CPAC Speaker Says Biden Is ‘Terrorizing’ Jan. 6 Rioters By Letting The DOJ Prosecute Them

This is the weekend for the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) to meet, and they’re doing in so in Florida to keep failed, one-term former President Donald Trump from having to travel too far since he’s become a doddering old man who requires frequent diaper changes during the day.

One of the speakers was a woman named Julie Kelly, who is listed as a Senior Writer for something called “American Greatness,” Media Matters reports:

Kelly began her remarks by rattling off a list of things that had been done by an unnamed person:

“He’s using this law enforcement agency, armed agents, military-style vehicles to conduct pre-dawn raids at the homes of political dissidents. Terrorizing these dissidents in front of their children, and, in some cases, their elderly spouses. Hauling them off, concocting charges against them, fabricating evidence, and in almost 100 cases, hauling them off to prison where they have been denied bail.”

Dissidents? That has echoes of the old Soviet Union, where people were hauled away by the KGB and put in gulags for all sorts of nonsensical charges.

Kelly then continued:

“And dozens of them, actually, shipped off to a special political prison in the nation’s capital, where these detainees are then kept away from their family, their defense attorneys, they can’t see the evidence against them – all the rights that those citizens have from their country’s charter are completely gone. No due process. No presumption of innocence. Trials are delays. Evidence is covered up. Their lives are destroyed. Their families are destroyed. Their businesses are destroyed.”

All of that led Kelly to this conclusion, which was eagerly lapped up by the audience:

“The media, of course, helps out the regime in smearing these people and ruining their lives. Now, who am I talking about? Not Vladimir Putin, of course. Joe Biden.”

Apparently, if you storm the Capitol, terrorize members of Congress, and defecate in the halls of the seat of the U.S. government, you’re not a domestic terrorist. To the right-wing Trumpers, such behavior qualifies you as a “dissident.”

While we’ve known for some time now that conservatives are obsessed with Putin, to hear a member of their ranks compare President Biden to a mass murderer like the Russian tyrant is a new level of disgusting.

 

Categories
Donald Trump GOP WTF?!

Trump Fanatics Unveil An Absurd 7-Point Plan For ‘Reinstalling’ Him As POTUS ‘In Days’

In Dallas this weekend, the Conservative Political Action Committee — also known as CPAC — is meeting so right-wingers and other political crackpots will have a place to ruminate about the “good old days” when failed, one-term former President Donald Trump was still in the White House, putting migrant children into internment camps, golfing several times a week, and telling the American people that COVID-19 was no worse than the flu.

But as with most gatherings of Republicans and neo-fascists, there’s also plenty of conspiracy theories floating around for the attendees to sample and try on for size.

One of those was first spotted by Andrew Solander of Forbes, who noted that there was a plan involving seven steps for “reinstalling” Donald Trump as president “in days, not years.”

The plan, being circulated by a group named PatriotSoars on a card handed out to CPAC attendees, is so absurd that you may find yourself laughing uncontrollably before you get past the first couple of steps:

As HuffPost reports, details of the “plan” are so farfetched as to be the rantings of a lunatic — i.e. a member of the Trump family — though we have no evidence to support such a supposition:

“However, a casual observer with an understanding with the basic principles of critical thinking might see problems with the plan, such as getting members of the Black caucus, such as Reps. Maxine Waters of California and Jim Clyburn of South Carolina, and Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey, to suddenly join a political party that doesn’t reflect their values.

“Oh, and there is that pesky issue of finding 17 Democratic senators willing to impeach Biden and Harris to meet the two-thirds threshold required by the Constitution to remove a president or vice president from office.”

Others on Twitter also weighed in on the 7-point plan for returning Trump as Grand Poobah:

One person even cut right through the tinfoil hat bullshittery and noted that it sounds like the Trump faithful are actually admitting (GASP!) that Donnie Dotard lost the 2020 election, which makes all the other points completely moot:

That’s right. Donald Trump lost. He lost by a LOT. And he was also impeached twice along the way, the only president in history to earn that dubious honor. That means that if you still support him, you’re an even bigger loser than he is.