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Crime WTF?!

Man Pulls Gun On Store Clerk–Reason? His D*ck Doesn’t Work

Of the many reasons to be upset with a store clerk, this one may wind up being the most novel and hilarious at the same time.

Wednesday evening at Viva Video (i.e. the adult video and novelty store) in St. Paul, Minnesota, a customer wanted to return a penis pump because he claimed it didn’t work as had been promised. Keep in mind that the man had already used the pump, but he was demanding his money back nonetheless.

The clerk’s response to the man was simple: His lack of success with the item must be due to his lack of understanding of how to operate the equipment. No, the customer insisted, it was with the device. To bolster his point, the customer decided to add the emphasis of a handgun, which he pointed at the clerk’s head. Failing to receive satisfaction from the clerk, the man left the store, promising to return, though he never did. There is one flaccid and pissed off dude now walking the streets in St. Paul.

What I cannot help but note (and chuckle about) when it comes to this story is that it reinforces what many of us on the left have been saying for years: Men who cling to guns and demand to carry them anywhere and everywhere 24/7, 365 days a year may be doing so to compensate for their “failure to fire” in the bedroom when the time arrives for them to perform.

Now before all the ammosexuals in the reading audience want to say that I’m painting them all with the same brush, rest assured that I’m not. I personally know many gun owners who are not so insecure that they feel the need to wave guns around because they cannot finish the deal sexually.

But face it: If you buy a penis pump at an adult store and it doesn’t work, the chances are they aren’t gonna refund your money. Put yourself in the clerk’s place: Do you want to deal with that returned merchandise after it’s been used?

Let’s all put our guns back in our pants and act like civilized human beings.

This article was originally published by the same author at LiberalAmerica.org.

By Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

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