Categories: CrimeDonald Trump

Legal Expert Laughs At Trump For Trying To Woo Stormy Daniels By Wearing ‘Silk Pajamas’

Even though he has repeatedly denied he had an extramarital affair with adult film star Stormy Daniels, testimony from Daniels today suggests that disgraced former president Donald Trump did indeed know her and wooed her in some laughably pathetic ways.

MSNBC legal analyst Katie Phang explained that Trump had his eye on Daniels from the get-go.

“So here’s the thing,” Phang noted. “We know that Donald Trump is seeking Stormy Daniels out.”

“Donald Trump loves to say, ‘I don’t know these women,'” Phang continued. “They’re horse faces. They’re this. They’re that.’ No, no, no. We now know, he’s seeking out Stormy Daniels to dine with her. And what was her initial reaction? ‘Expletive no!'”

Daniels eventually relented when her publicist encouraged her, suggesting it would make for a good story.

But when Daniels arrived for her date with Trump, he was wearing silk or satin pajamas. She urged him to change because she said he looked like Playboy publisher Hugh Hefner.

Defense attorney David Markus said such details enhance Daniels credibility as a witness and show that the affair actually happened.

“The idea is you want to demonize the defendant, and this is all trying to make him look so bad. It’s not going to the elements of the crime. And the jury will see all these things she’s saying, and they will get that ick factor. And you laughed out loud when you heard about the pajamas.”

Phang: “He’s in satin pajamas, and she thinks she’s coming for dinner. And why would Trump be embarrassed about this information getting out? Maybe just the silk pajamas are what he doesn’t want to get out, and he doesn’t want it to hurt his campaign.”

Donald Trump is under the impression that he’s some sort of great ladies’ man, but as today’s testimony shows, he’s just a pathetic loser who wants to believe he’s smooth. In reality, he’s about as smooth as a bedsheet made of sandpaper.

Andrew Bradford

Proud progressive journalist and political adviser living behind enemy lines in Red America.

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