In the surest sign yet that Donald Trump’s reelection campaign is indeed in the crapper and desperately trying to find reasons any American should vote for him, we now learn that the current president saved Christianity.
Yes, you read that correctly. Donald Trump — the most godless heathen to ever inhabit the White House — has saved Christianity.
The news about the Donald’s amazing feat comes directly from his son, Eric, who was being interviewed recently by a radio station in North Dakota when he rattled off his father’s accomplishments as president. One of those, he remarked, was that Donnie “literally saved Christianity.”
Don’t believe it? Listen for yourself, courtesy of CNN’s K-File:
Eric went on to say that the Democratic Party has become the party of atheists, which is directly contradicted by the fact that the Democratic presidential nominee, Joe Biden, is a devout Catholic who regularly attends mass. Donald Trump, on other hand, almost never darkens the door of any church, perhaps because he’s far too busy screwing porn stars, paying hush money to hide his extramarital affairs, and spreading a deadly virus to others, including his own Secret Service detail.
That was all Twitter users needed to erupt with laughter and barbs for the president’s son:
step aside jesus https://t.co/vwxAXXCE0D— Oliver Willis (@owillis) October 6, 2020
When was the last time— mollyswordmcdonough 🌊 (@mollysmcdonough) October 6, 2020
Eric Trump went to church?
How does Eric Trump define “Christianity”?
How does Eric Trump define “save”?
How does Eric Trump define “literally”?
Where were these Trump children educated?
I am actually surprised that he wasn't hit by a lightning bolt on the spot… 🤔 https://t.co/wixwkdCj08— Jürgen "jkr" Kraus (@jkr_on_the_web) October 6, 2020
Eric must be taking drugs.. We know there is no war on Christianity, there isn't peace in the Middle East, insulin isn't down, there is no health care plan, people are dying because he didn't act on Coronavirus, education is a mess, military is a mess, no wall, the list goes on.— Ann (@annfurek) October 6, 2020
He’s certainly exposed the evangelists for the fakes they are. I don’t think dt has done anything else for Christianity, although I think dt is pretty close to being the anti Christ.— Mame (@mame6432) October 6, 2020
His dad hasn’t done anything good for Christianity except expose the charlatans of which his daddy is one.— RBG Sent Me (@lisageeruns) October 7, 2020
But, true believers know this.
There’s one other thing we learned from Eric Trump’s absurd claim: His father is sharing his COVID-19 drugs with the entire family, and the pharmaceuticals are making them all delusional.