Despite the recent attacks in California which killed 14 and may well have been terrorist acts, the United States Senate still found it necessary to vote down a bill which would have made it illegal for anyone on the terrorist watch list to purchase a firearm. Why did the GOP-controlled Senate not advance the bill? Simple: They didn’t want to piss of the National Rifle Association (NRA).
Thanks to the NRA and the ammosexuals who slavishly hang on their every lie, there are lots of horrible things you can buy in this country, and they aren’t all weapons of mass murder, either. Take a look.
Yes, you did indeed read that correctly. Shortly after the Sandy Hook shootings, several companies that sell armored backpacks reported a significant increase in their sales. Check out how they market them:
Since we have to be on guard at all times, never knowing when some asshat with a semiautomatic weapon will decide to exercise his or her Second Amendment right to start shooting for no particular reason, you can now purchase clothing items such as jackets and tank tops to help you survive life in these dangerous times. Look how stylish you can be as you protect your very life:
School Shooting Smartphone Apps
A friend of mine who knows I have a daughter told me about this. The SchoolGuard app, is billed as “a panic button in the hands of every teacher and staff.” Here’s how it works: Shots are fired at a school, the app dials 911, lets the faculty and staff know what’s happening, then alerts participating schools within a five-mile radius and “instantly alerts all participating law enforcement officers, on and off duty, who are in close proximity.”
School Shooting-Focused Books
Now this is certainly something you want a child reading, isn’t it? Here you go, sweetie, I love you so much that I want you to know all about school shootings! There are how-to guides that tell children how to survive a school shooting and young adult novels that feature school shootings as a plot device. Now that’s great literature, huh?
Bedside Gun Holder
You always want to keep your gun close, especially as you sleep. Just reach down, grab your best friend (not the dog, your gun!), and start firing. Oh, sorry honey, I had no idea that was you! In this picture, do you notice that even the poor dog looks scared?
This is the one that really made me do a facepalm. You mean your God can’t protect you adequately? You need an armor-plated Bible? Pathetic, sad, and ridiculous all at the same time.
This article was originally published by the same author at LiberalAmerica.org.